we made out on top of his cat.
I'm watching CSI, they found semen in the woman's ear.
Guess she heard her killer coming
I woke up with spaghetti in my mouth
see if i had a dick i'd definitely smack people in the face with it
Ia nefed hefelkp i am a taxi
Miller High Life will be the death of me. Well, that and shower sex.
Hey history final, how's it feel to be raped in the ass by my steel cock of ACADEMIC PERFECTION?
you are way too vulgar to be a girl
There is blood on the door to my room, I have to go to sleep
After much deliberatipn and vodka, my favourite phrase of Christmas 2012 is "penis of last resort"
I don't know if I want context or not...
Context involves faux incest and champagne. Id go into detail but im on shot number 5.
Got serenaded to on the streets of Denver...the song was about a young banana that made really big decisions, got stds, and joined a gang. I think I like Colorado
I just hope the day something happens to me my phone just dies, like literally died and will never turn on ever again. I feel like God owes me that much.
Ok despite the fact that both you and I love dick we could have a great marriage
I don't need this shit right now. I just woke up covered in pistachios
Could someone explain to me why there were 40 individually wrapped burritos in the fridge when I woke up this morning?
I think I'm taking after my dog, I just want to hump everything
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