someone threw a dead crab at me
Waaait I'm alsleep in myt car somewhere
I don't care where my tongue is but i t's going to be in all the pictures.
It's like I'm in a vicious cycle of noncommittal penis.
Oh, I never thought you were a dick. You were one of the best morally comprised ideas I've ever had.
Wtf just happened. Thought you were in my bed since 3am, turned out I was sharing it w/a drunk girl from the 6th floor lounge...
Just got escorted to my 7:45 class by an old woman because I was too hungover to not realize I was four floors too high.
Jesus christmas you are like the Martha Stewart of threeway planning
I'm going to crush up my last 7 Percocets into a fine powder and toss my popcorn in it.
you stole two subs and a drink from jimmy johns and walked out yelling "get at me bitches"
He said bring my breathalyzer and Anna's pepper spray, I didn't ask questions
Now the circle is complete. Just interviewed a guy who was a higher up member of the team I worked for in my job before this place
We got kicked out of yet another strip club because your mom wanted to "show these kiddies how it's done"
Well, I have no idea where my underwear is, so yea I would say it was a good weekend.
Theres a free llama on craigslist. Are you in or are you in?
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