Sex don't cost a thang now that you can buy trojans with meal points.
therell be strippers and coke right?
no strippers. just coke.
i hate this fuckin recession
Loo but I'm already drunk TINIGHT! CAPS ATTACK
direct quote: "i'm so over my clit" either best or most awkward conversation possible with your COUSIN
Can the rest of this semester just go by as a montage?
i DID NOT walk around with my knees bent and my hands behind my back with long spandex and underarmour pretending to be Apollo Ono
i dont think my parents would of encouraged me to save years of birthday money if they knew what i would eventually spend it on
How did currency from Costa Rica make it's way into my wallet...?
we cant have a funnel and a dog. thats a lot of responsibility
My philosophy professor just told the class that he is suspicious of dolphins. The stoner in front of me totally gets it. I need to start getting high for this class.
Need to find a Santa hat to fit my penis, he deserves to be festive too.
Low key that was incredibly dangerous to let me wield a sword at this point in the night
I'm bonding with your girlfriend. I like her. We're plotting your demise.
I found a hair colour I want in a porn.
It's a shame I've been hooking up with him for 6 months and he still doesn't know my real name.
Randomize
