i just fingered the ice cream at home instead of getting a spoon
been there done that
ask if his dick looks like a sausage. alex's bro told me that's a sure sign. btw took pain pills. maybe shouldn't listen to me.
Even the bartender felt bad for me
This just became a night full of adventures...and by adventures I mean hitting people with my car
at least you know where his tattoos end, so it wasn't a complete waste of time.
have to get expensive furniture. after that study abroad now at least six things at ikea are named after guys i slept with
We are magical, pot smoking, smart as hell, single as fuck, woodland dolphins.
also dude totally apologize for the whole drunken "want something in my mouth" text
It was a book called Gay Safari.
I'm so happy for you now that you have found your perfect porn novel.
Just got biofeeze on my vag. Weirdest sensation everrr. Can't decide if I want to cum or cry
I have a magical vagina and I can't deny it anymore
Hey don't blame me, picking what flavor of condom to put on my dick is a very difficult selection process
In the words of my step grandma "whatever makes your pussy happy"
You had sex with a kid to spare him the shame of being a virgin. Evidence is on my side.
I know you would. And one day, we'll have a moment where i'll verbally assault a stranger for you.
Randomize
