what did gay clubs do before lady gaga
woke up this morning to find the entire staircase covered in marinara sauce, with my roommate practically sobbing and scrubbing the wall with carpet cleaner.
Just had a stripper snatch my glasses off my face with her ass
Also, we should really buy some bandaids. Right now I'm using toilet paper and scotch tape, but I don't really think that's sanitary.
She wants to practice her harmonica skills on my penis
Dedicating my hangover to whoever the hell I hooked up with in the bathroom last night.
just kidding, dedicating it to the gods of mexican food. omnomnom
I'll be listening to "I will always love you" and sobbing uncontrollably all night, care to join?
He ran around the party with a broken foot/ankle with a gallon of Malibu yelling "it must rain coconut"
A guy in the dance floor is raising the roof with an axe in hand. I love Halloween.
I'm surprised, it's been so long you must be starving
At a certain point, the zombie-like hunger goes away. Then the sadness sets in. Then you start lying to yourself that you're taking some "me time." Then you remember you dodged chlamydia and Buddha knows what else. Then you're at peace with it.
What's the mantra for Sunday?
I will not have sex with him.
He asked me who my new boyfriend was and I showed him a picture of my sex toys.
Idk what I'm more afraid of...checking my bank account or my STD results.
I love you even if you are fucked up. If you fall, i'll just get on top of you.
I am at a cat party and I just witnessed people lapping vodka out of a bowl for a contest. Lol
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