I found the seven page love letter I had written you. I'm sorry i was so obsessed.
he said i look beautiful when i cum. i think i'm in love.
Somebody was walking their dog with their car. seriously
the easter KEGG...out of a drunken typo there arose a new and spectacular holiday tradition
No, we talked about it. They're cool with me living here as long as I sleep with them both.
You're a rent hooker.
Yea he doesn't really know about any of this yet but my game plan is to keep wowing him with my vagina and cooking skills. It's up too future me to handle the rest.
It's a 'fuck poison control' kind of night.
She tackled him mid-puke while the other two were cutting up a $60 dildo with a kitchen knife and putting the pieces in a Corona bottle.
You were taking in your sleep. You were like Jess that's that animal we were talking about and you Hugged her feet
I'm about to smoke a joint alone, do you want to FaceTime and pretend you're smoking it too?
I woke up naked in this guys bed and the first thing I start saying is it's super bowl Sunday like I was yelling
There's something empowering about being at dinner and sitting across the table from two men you've blown.
I just dropped a chicken nugget on the floor and seriously prayed that it would be ok....I think this job is making me crazy.
If he flies out here I will sleep with him. I have morals, but not when it comes to southern accents
Started dabbing in blow again because he always hated that I did it. Yuh I’m doing drugs but at least I’m doing me?
Randomize
