basically at this point ill snort whatever you put in front of me and just hope
That was the gentlest I've ever been bitten in the face by a dog
I was so drunk. I apparently did a flip over the balcony using it as monkey bars. Ya I hurt a bit today
I'm blaming hurricane Irene if I get pregnant tonight.
He went 'unicorn hunting' and lost a fight with a fence. That's how he ended up in the ER.
Ultimate Fighter Idea. You and I both have unprotected sex with the same girl in the spam of days. Whoever the child belongs to, wins and that child is the ultimate ultimate fighter.
How high are you?
I have got to stop letting people hang ornaments from my nipple ring.
Tis the season.
What happened with the girl wasn't a gay thing. It was just a mutual respect and want for sex. The guys just weren't there.
Call it what you want. You fucked a girl.
this is the first time i'm angry at someone with so much boobs. she like managed to break my glass and my phone with one glorious swing
Couldn't find my swimsuit top anywhere this morning but finally found it in the skimmer of the pool so thats how my night apparently went
My genitals don't want beer. They want to not feel like they wandered into a hornet's nest.
Any idea why my ass cheeks are bruised again?
The fact that theyre bruised AGAIN means you're not adult enough to know why.
Once again, marijuana saves me from going to jail
I got really worried when i woke up and there weren't any missed booty calls from him between 3 and 5 am. Apparently his gf is in town ...
Will exercising make me less horny?
Randomize
