i need a wealthy benefactor or a cocktail job. or to start stripping. or kill myself. whatever.
Im interpreting your silence as a silent plea for me to come wake you up. See you soon.
normally i'm against accepting campers on facebook but this one saw me giving head to another counselor and didn't say shit about it to my boss so i feel like shes earned the right to look at my sloppy drunk pictures
Arguably, the best part was cockblocking those squirrels.
Sitting next to a girl in the computer cluster who just googled syphilis symtoms, started crying & got up and left. My life suddenly seems better.
his blanket is still in the back seat of my car, its like a constant reminder of his small penis
What a great world we live in when USPS can tell you that your drugs have been delivered.
I just saw my first passed out person, sprawled out on the sidewalk like they died. I wanted to take a pic but I thought that screamed "tourist"
At this point I will cuddle anything to prevent from dying alone
I just passed a truck with its bed lined with a tarp and filled with water with six dudes chilling in the back driving through campus. That looks fun.
I remember puking but I don't remember where. PSA: don't go barefoot around the house
I said, hypothetically speaking, if I was going to be having some rough sex Friday night, when WOULD be the best time for a massage, mother dear?
I'm in the Sheetz parking lot waiting for dad to finish a drug deal.
i woke up fully clothed with teenage dream on repeat. something is wrong with me
I’ll call you in a minute. Trying to book an AirBnB so I can finally bang the yummy guy from yoga
Your downward dog is going to rock his cock. I’m jealous
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