do all gilrs hav hair on thier vagaina ?
Don't drive home.
From inside my college history class i see him waving his arms while holding a beer bong trying to get my attention
did i have both of my shoes on when the bouncer threw us out last night?
sometimes i think i'm bisexual but then i realize the only girl i'm attracted to is myself.
She used to be a real nice person. Now she's just a dick sucking machine
Is 'too horny to study' a good enough medical excuse to not take a final?
Okay so my USC tutor just offered to eat me out. I think I'm definitely applying to USC.
Hahaha I can already see the arrest warrants. It's gonna be beautiful. I'll get them framed.
And then you two got up and shouted in near perfect unison "I'M ALWAYS A SLUT FOR BASKIN ROBBINS" The bar just looked at us horrified.
VASECTOMY FOR THE WIN
I found Erin. She's getting a back massage from the coat check boy and drinking all his whiskey.
I didn't even get crazy off of the coke so everything's fine. Also, I think I might have killed my aunt's dog..
I want you to know I am at work super hungover and I threw up in the mop sink. I feel like you will appreciate this
You're my fucking hero
Yeah, oh and the story gets better. His friend was dressed as a christmas tree wrapped in twinkle lights and had to plug himself in the wall all night.
But actually he solved 40% of my life problems just in one dicking
Randomize
