you definitely held a convo with a hobo
we have a secret handshake
NBC reported that a group almost has enough signatures to submit pole dancing as an Olympic sport in 2016...
God I fucking love America.
whats a positive sounding word for "exploit"?
And then he tried to clean the throw up off my pants with 409
For future reference "bring our litter sisters on our date day" is not such a good idea
I saw a guy do a line this morning in line to start the 5k, happy thanksgiving!
And please let him know I don't normally go off on long rants about feminist theory. That was totally the vodka talking.
He sent me a snapchat of himself growing a double chin. I think we're past the stage where there's any risk of us sleeping together. Ever.
I guess I'll just chalk it up as a learning experience and a lot of great sex.
she walked in on me throwing up in the sink with my pants around my ankles and I said "i'll be with you in a sec"
The problem with drugs is that there's none in this hotel
The problem with drugs is that showing my boobs only gets so much of them
The hint wasn't even a hint. it said "stop talking to her" that's pretty straightforward
I love you man but my hope is that you will not wake me up again by pissing on me
I responded like every reasonable adult would. With a gif
Apparently I handcuffed myself to the dishwasher...
Randomize
