4:25 am: I want you here. Ugh.
Flowers- 20. Dinner-50. Drinks- 25. Hotel- 150. The look on his face when I tell him I'm on my period? Priceless.
I called the bar to ask if they found my Id and credit card and they remembered me as 'the girl who signed her receipt in blood'
Hurry up I might actually study if I am left alone
he was pretty good aside from the whole putting his tongue on my butt thing
If that really is brett favre's penis, no wonder she ignored his calls
You cleaned out the gashes in your leg from hopping that fence with that whipped cream vodka, didnt you?
You convinced us both to take shots of jack Daniels through our eyes.
I deleted his number so I had to go into my old voicemails which are saved through my gmail and search his name... Never underestimate the resourcefulness of a drunk girl on a mission for dick
I woke up with the suicide hotline number saved as 'Hot Guy Josh'
I would rather you cheat on me then you watch this season of Breaking Bad without me.
It's hard to hold down the snapchat button for video while thrusting. Sorry if the cinematography wasn't Oscar-worthy.
Let's get a hotel room this time. I really don't want to sleep in a Dennys parking lot again.
I think him and kristen are pretty serious now.. I dont think he cheats on her, anymore.
Neighbor is sitting on his porch looking like he made some terrible life decisions and I just want to be like "I drank half of a handle of peach vodka in a shed last night. I understand" but I think they're swingers so his night probs sucked more.
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