from now on, im only gona ahve sex with my boyfriend.
I woke up and she had breakfast in bed for me
RUN RUN RUN RUN
You should really come over right now. There's hot construction workers across the street. I'm gonna go pour beer on myself in a bikini on the sidewalk. See you in 5?
besides im still about 80% sure that im eskimo brothers with jerry springer
woke up on the kitchen floor in the recovery position. at least drunk me remembered sober me's emt training
Well, I made it thru a doorway, so I think things are going good.
Just remember, Dont make worse choices than american flag pants to your own birthday party
It's midsummers eve. A.k.a. come over so we can get drunk and wear leaf crowns
She fell off the bed and giggled until she passed out naked. It was really weird.
Probably not gonna date her.
I made out with a mom and her daughter and got a black eye, so yeah, my birthday went well
i just realized... if i ever hook up with someone on my bed, we'll be fucking atop my animated batman themed bedset.
currently working on a look that screams, "I'm dead inside, but still trying to enjoy the ride"
Just spent the morning washing Bailey's and Guiness out of my clothes -_-
He's just been a dick since he set his face on fire. I just wanted to eat a fucking hot dog.
I'm going to start talking to Bill again, he has friends with boats which means we'll get to go on boats.
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