is it wrong to smoke out middle schoolers?
yes...dear jesus what did you do?
bwahaha. ask your little brother in about 20 minutes. im dropping him off.
My grandmother just explained bulimia to me as a diet
These 3 days between Christmas and new years when all the bosses are on vacation are essentially a competition to see who can do the least amount of work
On a list of weird places to get a bj, how weird is in the basement of a pharmacy
is that a crab cake on the shelf with the dvd's....?
I hope he doesn't find the chex mix when he takes my shirt off.
Its not really a relationship, its more of a sex for booze program.
Dontating $10 to the Red Cross relief effort in Japan for every car bomb I take tomorrow. Yes, buying me a drink just became a good cause.
Idk I've been drinking all day and they're having me blow shit up. Like dont let the drunk chick play with fire and explosives. Common sense 101. I will fuck something up
Did you have ill-advised lesbian sex on the deathbed of their relationship?
Of course. Go big or go home.
You're my fucking queen.
Serio, who the fuck falls down coming offstage wearing nothing but pasties, a g-string, and a fake moustache, and now suddenly needs a tetanus shot. Me. That's who.
So this is what it's like to wake up with someone else's blood in your nose...
FYI my mom is sending thanksgiving "samples" of her fancy pot stash for us this weekend. I bring the BEST family leftovers.
I just put condoms in a mason jar because it looked prettier than the box.I think I've peaked.
Ok here's the plan: birth control, KFC, handcuffs.
Randomize
