I haven't seen him in over a year. He asked me to his prom over myspace. Is he fucking serious?
Even my Mr Clean Magic Eraser can't make last night disappear.
instead of telling him i dont hook up with closet frat guys, i gave him his "straight' fraternity brothers number... pike house will be interesting tonight
they just tried to tell me they weren't big into drugs. A) it was the 70's. B) I've seen the pictures.
I honestly don't know what my boundaries are, but shitting on me is crossing them.
They don't exactly give out small business loans to start-up dealers
we went from five shot glasses to three in one night. we lost 'badass' and gumbi, but the ninja turtle survived. courtney says to avoid any more casualties we're not allowed to use shot glasses past 1am. and we're not allowed to throw them
So apparently the only parts of last night I remember didn't actually happen.. When did vodka become a hallucinogen?
It's going to be so weird waking up tomorrow morning fully rested completely sober and not covered in piss or bruises.
The fact that he said "there's nothing wrong with being a raging drunk, just ask my mother." has me thinking that I have no positive role-models among my friends.
How many other adults do you think have slept naked under the Winnie the Pooh blanket sober?
How high is the bridge and how deep is the water and what are the chances I will get arrested
Unless he's under 18, in which case you put him back where you found him this instant.
MY GOD WHY DIDN'T I TAKE PHOTOS OF HIS CREDIT CARDS WHILE HE WAS SLEEPING
I’m literally lecturing this class on professionalism, while my body is undoubtably covered in leftover cum from last night. I’m a fucking role model.
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