If you want her to think you're a true humanitarian, you may want to stop referring to Hands Across America as "the Ghostbusters 2 of fund raisers."
She was ugly to the point i wanted to brush my teeth after looking at her
Just picture a bunch of Abraham Lincolns having an orgy.
You hit on my mom and then passed out in the kiddie pool.
We are winners. And by winners I mean home wrecking sluts
Isn't that what our 20s r for?? Testing the strength of other people's shitty relationships?
That's unfortunate. Distance can be a stoner's greatest enemy.
You make it sound like a battle for Middle Earth.
The strip club incident sums up our friendship pretty well
He told me my outfit made me look like a twelve year old then proceeded with "but you don't look like a whore"
If a baby can come out of it, so can four raquetballs.
I'm to the point where I'm fantasizing about Iron Chefs going down on me.
I masterbated to the rocky theme song. I'm pretty sure that just beat any sex experience I've ever had.
he brought with him gifts of cookie dough and penis. upgrading our relationship from fwb's to bf/gf was an incredibly smart merger.
Should probably stop going into the gas station to look for the most normal person to hitch a ride with to drive me to a party
LMAO. Stop. Men are such gentleman these days. I woke up with no one beside me and you got 6 cents
6 cents and no orgasm 💃🏻🎉
We are so blessed
It’s official. I’ve hooked up with all three brothers now
You should go after Dad now
I should! He’s definitely middle age fuckable
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