Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(815): View more from Illinois

Here's a fun fact your kittens ate my vomit last night

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(214): View more from Texas

does wine, beer, and vodka mix well??

(817): View more from Texas

dude, everything can mix, this is college.

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(313): View more from Michigan

I woke up this morning with gum gluing my ass cheeks together..

(313): View more from Michigan

I can't decide if I actually want to know or not..

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(334): View more from Alabama

God, i just love slightly insecure guys with hearts of gold and giant penises.

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(775): View more from Nevada

Long labias. Talking about. Too drunk to explain. Tomorrow.

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(415): View more from California

It feels wrong to have dick mouth at a family dinner.

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(780): View more from Alberta, CA

Does she usually listen to trance and cut up broccoli when she's high?

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(678): View more from Georgia

He made a toga out of my hot pink bed sheets and cracked an egg on his head. Then he proceeded to alphabetize our DVD collection, which was impressive because I'm 99% sure he couldn't have done that sober.

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(610): View more from Pennsylvania

I'm tired of you and your emotional constipation. WHY DO YOU CLOSE YOUR EYES WHEN WE MAKE LOVE!?

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