so the guy who showed me the apt today is now texting me and asking me out for drinks...he's at least 20 yrs oldr than me and highlights his hair, but part of me is wondering how low i can talk him down in rent during sex? wrong?
i was blowing him and "what if god was one of us" came on his playlist. I had to leave
We just took the batteries out of the fire alarm to play the breathalyzer game. I love college.
Man now I have poo on my blackberry!!!
brownberry?
I woke up while squatting on top of my bed peeing on my comforter and my laptop
I'm customer of the month for a 3rd time now at the Wine store. I've achieved so much in my life
Shaun got a portable breathalyzer for christmas so now we can tell who the biggest pussy is at the end of the night.
It's like rock paper scissors. Cold showers and smoking beat hangovers.
Decided to make myself tequila gummy bears but got impatient and just drank the bowl of tequila.
I woke up to half of the whiskey bottle gone, and apparently I showered in my clothes. Pretty good start to SB2015 I'd say?
We share an apartment, weed and genitals. It's called being practical not in love.
Like actually I will be single and sad and lonely for ever. Cheese will be my life partner. Robot sex is my future.
Booty called 3 guys from my hospital bed
you made the house rule that every time you'd say "yay" everyone had to drink.
that explains so much
Note to self: make sure the door is locked before the handcuffs go on.
Randomize
