Is masturbating to pics of your ex on Facebook considered cheating?
You are proof that most things are best left unsaid.
guess who just got paired up at the beer pong table with the fat girl who's nipples are hanging out...
I feel like someone was just looking at my memory and took out an eraser and was like "nope he doesnt need that"
how can getting a pizza be this hard?
when you've been drinking 14 hours anythings impossible
Dude just read our convo. Apparently I was talking to you while I was naked. She wasn't happy about it.
nothing says 'im willing to leave my comfort zone for you' like letting you choke me during sex
i'm only riding in the trunk because they put the case of beer back here..
Laying on my kitchen floor and the lights just got brighter... I just died or there was a power surge. Based on the amount of booze I drink both are possible.
I need to do something profound in the next three and a half years so that when my kids ask what I did in my twenties I have something to say other than "made bad decisions"
I mean, I love her. But not "I'll have a threesome with her." Type of love.
maybe her throwing up on me was a foreshadowing of how she would later metaphorically throw up on my life
Either your boy toy or the kid who pulled a knife on me in high school is here
Code 10 We gotta leave. Now. I took a dump in the upstairs toilet and its clogged and overflowing, and believe me I don't want to have to explain myself to this frat on parents weekend.
If I ever look like I'm about to have a repeat of last night, hit me. Just smack me as hard as you can.
dude the last time we saw him was 2 nights ago when he was yelling that the trees were naked or some shit then he ran into the forest. I think its time for a search party
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