Her life must suck. All she's got is "Miss Shamrock" WHICH SHE LOST!
You watched "From Justin to Kelly" and sang along to more than half of the songs. I didn't know whether to laugh or to be insanely frightened that you knew almost all the lyrics.
Yeah I'm a responsible adult man but I legally unbind myself from anything that occurred that evening and am in no way responsible for those actions.
He got completely naked and is now just standee there next to my bed poking at my hamster. Why can't I get sex the normal way.
it's only monday and im already failing all my classes. i give up. tequila tuesday is my only friend.
I am going to dream of scrotums tonight, I just know it.
in other news i'm homewrecking via instagram
I just want a sensitive guy who will get drunk with me then take me out to steal things. Is that too much to ask?
We woke up at 7:30am. We got a 30 rack, yelled at all the freshman shackers walkin back to their dorms, played a game of beer die, and boned all before 11:00am. I found my soulmate
Driving you two to the party with a keg belted into the back seat has given me a brief glimpse of parenthood. I am now more resolved than ever to never breed, so thanks for that.
That was the night I passed out and someone threw chicken at me. SORRY I wasn't available to cockblock you from that Hispanic dude.
I'm sure there are thousands getting dick today in the name of independence
I'm sobbing to NWA
Just got back to the apartment. Why os there now 14 identical toothbrushes in the bathroom and only the two of us live here?
Only you could get too drunk for taco bell. I don't know if I'm jealous or ashamed. Go to bed.
Randomize