I specifically asked you not to be slutty tonight.
you dont need to remember merediths name haha. only jane
i got lost in a forest last night. this morning I realized the "forest" was just 6 trees on campus.
So my grandma sent me a doily for my birthday - don't ask why, I don't know. Anyways I put my bong on it, I think it actually classed up the joint.
I'm 99% sure that for 3 hours I thought you were British. We must smoke that again.
we were both as far on opposite edges of my bed as possible this morning. id say work is gonna be a little uncomfortable from now on
Was this before, or after you took my brand new bag of shredded cheese, and "Made it rain"?
Judging by my dry clothes and wet sheets, I think I might have gotten out of bed, pissed ON it, covered it up, and passed out on top of it
My brother just asked if I would keep having one nighters with that guy because he really likes the organic cotton v-necks he leaves behind.
When he gets asked "is it in?" more than his name you arent missing out on much more than a petite tampon.
Do u feel more socially accepted since someone else made up their girlfriend too?
ok thanks goodnight
Also before you go to bed i just have to get it out there that i really like macklemore as a person
dropping lines from Workaholics has slowly become my icebreaker when hitting on girls. who would have thought "lets get weird" would cause girls to actually get weird
Why do I have a wristband from the birthing center at the University of Maryland hospital....
are you still alive?
no.
i'll cry at your funeral. and leave a burrito by your tombstone
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