You were wearing a sombrero. And a crown. And told me to use the nerf gun to protect your room from the cat. You don't have a cat.
After the sixth shot I started to slur my pauses.
this is the 21st century. you drunk fuck him and then go on a date.
The frequency that you give me blue balls couldn't be healthy.
Apparently having him hold an open book in front of me while i'm blowing him doesn't count as studying...
Housing came buy and confiscated our shopping cart :(
He's got a southern drawl and a lisp. I'm getting mindfucked right now.
When they arrested me, they gave me a bracelet with my mugshot and info. When you get one they can be our BFF Bracelets.
I kept petting the scarves and telling customers to "feel that shit"
Stop drinking at work.
I'm sorry for not being sorry about whatever shit I did to you when you were annoying and I was drunk. That is all.
Unlike bears, this weekend is not the #1 threat to America. It is, however, the #1 threat to my liver
I greatly enjoy being related to her. Even if is it only by a penis.
Bringing families together since 1987
So apparently having sex with your co-worker in the bathroom at the staff party can get you fired.
WHAT IS ALL THIS WATER BOTTLE FLIPPING NONSENSE? WHAT IS LIT?
YOUTHS.
My fire has petered out without you
My Peter has fired out without you
That might be the most romantic thing you’ve said to me, unfortunately.
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