I really wish i had a penis so i could dick slap that bitch right now
so i woke up on my toliet naked backwards. good night.
she just stood in the kitchen yelling "REAL WOMEN HAVE CURVES"
the line for where the wild things are looks like radiohead had sex with an urban outfitters
tonight's goal was "most regrettable decision" and you bring wine coolers?
the snow is so cold on my vagina.
why do you have snow on your vagina?
vodka and heels.
The douche that always wears spandex at the gym just walked into class with a dick going into his mouth drawn on his face. The professor said "rough night" and he still has no idea. Tyring to get a pic
the crazy preacher outside Willard just began a monologue that began with "when i look at a vagina." We should stop by there more often
Dude. Her vagina is a blender.
I think I'm goin to jail but either way I had a blast.
Super awkward that I just now realized I added no verb to the first statement about super hero porn. We were watching it, not making it. Clarity.
Me too, I feel like I pinched your nipples excessively. At the time it seemed like a good idea, but in retrospect I'm not so sure.
I will never look at a penis the same again. After that I will appreciate them so much more than I do. Makes me wanna kiss yours just for being pretty
My chance to home wreck was right in front of me and I didn’t grab it by the balls
Yeah. I fucked her boyfriend, she knows, and she still wants to keep dating him. That's love.
Randomize
