sorry if i was weird last night, had weird deja vu that we had done that before, i mean with the peanut butter.
we had.
well that explains the rash. i dont think i should see you again.
My entire floor is waiting for the couple to come out of the shower. She's a screamer. We've blockaded them
I just realized that two weekends in a row we ended up in a bathroom with two different boys asking us for a threesome. does this happen to everyone?
Blew a line and having a jolly rancher... the day is looking up.
thanks for being my moral compass. and thanks for not always pointing north so i can be slutty and not feel bad about it.
He turned me into a screamer. Guess I'm really not a lesbian.
Peanut butter fills the cracks of my heart
Everyone was in the walk-in getting high, and I had to be all cool. Serving soup and salads. Night manager status doesn't pay enough.
A dude just looked at me like my drunk swaying was corrupting his progeny DUDE YOUR KID HAS A MULLET YOU'VE ALREADY RUINED HIM
I found pix on her phone of me passed out and her sticking things up my ass. Its over.
I mean, it's just pathetic when the standard is tinder and he can't live up to it.
Just test drove the kilt for Justin's wedding. NEVER. WEARING. PANTS. AGAIN.
Vodka, rum, moonshine, I don't care, just bring like 5gallons.
She is 6 months pregnant and gets more action at bars than I do.
Quick question, did I crash teeth with you when I snogged you, or did I headbutt something between the car and the bed last night?
Randomize
