You'll be the first to get a "it's herpes simplex 1" cigar.
Any questions about why there was a scuba tank chilling in the hot tub this morning?
Not even close. I woke up in the bed of Codys truck. Wrapped up in a sleeping bed, using a stuffed alligator as a pillow. And Alex was laying naked beside me. Not to mention I wasn't wearing the clothes I got there in.
According to the bell hop, we stumbled in about 4 and then cannon balled into the pool.
There was an awkward moment where I was going for his cock and he reach out and held my hand, thinking that what I was doing
Can you send me a picture of you not naked, my mom wants to see what you look like
Your cat is quite the conversationalist after some tequila and shrooms
I'm convinced that the Christmas lights in my room contributed to the great sex.
we got her to the bathroom intime. all she could say was 'now my bladder is empty just like my soul'
Some guy is here using a taser on people. I'm up next
I stopped him mid keg stand to show him how cute my bra was...
I have shit my pants twice this week. #adulthood
EW FUCK GROSS GODDAMMIT I WENT DOWNSTAIRS AND MY GODDAMN BROTHER WAS FINGERING SOME GIRL ON THE FLOOR DOESN'T HE KNOW HE FUCKING LIVES WITH PEOPLE
shut up and let me use my vagina as a weapon of self destruction in peace!
There was a woman who drank mouth wash to get drunk during her supposed detox...this is def the internship for me!
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