I swear if I see one more guy in a v-neck and fedora I'm going to punch someone in the balls. This is philly, you're not supposed to look like Ryan Cabrera
I miss having pregnancy scares ....at least i knew i was having a good time
I just had a 2 1/2 hr conversation about the pros and cons of taping your ballsack to your taint, which then led into the unveilling of lady gaga being a hermaphrodite.
The walk of shame is far, far worse on crutches.
Canada just beat USA, the sad part they still need us to make money so who really won
i'm duct taped to my bed with a condom in my hand. something went wrong
We should invent fake asshair for you to wear so you can experience my pain for a day.
If you're not on crutches for breakfast, I'll feel like I've failed you.
I can't. Currently naked covered in Nair trying desperately to catch his cat that rubbed up on my leg.
I hate that cat.
not sure if destroying him emotionally was worth it but damn it's a fucking hilarious story
I never thought in a million years that I would have a threesome with my boss and his wife and yet here we are.
Grrr. Fine. You get oral for being unwrong.
We fucked like animals on that lion king beanbag chair that your mom got you for your 10th bday
I was told I was gorgeous and a whore by the drag queens. My night is complete.
okay i know we havent talked for like weeks but i just really wanted to tell you that i miss your dick. like alot.
whose this? and thank you
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