Let's get naked and see who's stronger.
just the thought makes me want to clean my vag with a clorox wipe
Mac n' cheese is coming out of my nose. You can't make that feel better
You kept running into the wall most of the night. When people asked you what you were doing you told them you were the kool-aid man and there was little kids on the other side of the wall who needed your juice
Just checked my phone. Sometime last night I googled sex positions in a tent. Was there even a tent there?
she got into med school, i feel dumb for banging her dance major friend
i just had a pap smear and two shots. lets hit the beach.
If it carries over into the weekend I would be glad to nurse your vagina back to health.
I like how he had to correct himself in stating that I was the fat one in the threesome.
She was wearing some slutty variation of a toga and giving the entire bus a pep talk on why we should black out tonight...I'M IN LOVE AND I DON'T CARE WHO KNOWS IT!
Also, I found your gauge.
I found it under my pillow like a gift from the Sex Fairy.
Never in my life did I dream that I would meet and NFL linesman, let alone that he would be standing before me dressed as a Roman centurion and asking for Vaseline.
After last night I never want to be in the back of a cop car again. No leg room.
I PUT IT IN THE UNIVERSE THAT I WANTED TO STAB HIM AND THEN SOMEONE DID! KARMA IS A BITCH AND SHE IS BEAUTIFUL!
Whoever was the bastard/bitch/genius who duct taped my keys to my dick so I wouldn't lose them. I hate you.
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