Yeah....I really appreciate it....I didn't even get it from hooking up....lame, atleast if a girl gets u sick when u r hooking up it was fun in its inception...
you ever get that eerie feeling when you walk in a room, when you know youve barfed here before.
She called me Jeff during sex, I just kept going like nothing happened. To think, if I was a woman that would be a problem.
She is only going home with him in hopes to give him herpes. She has been plotting some master revenge since 7th grade.
You told him you were auditioning guys for your new show: "So You Think You Can Fuck."
Best pick-up line ever!
I waited so long to accept his friend request that he canceled it. So I added him and when he accepted I deleted him. I wonder how long this will be funny to me
$5 long island pitchers = roommate pissing on his laptop at 3am.
Have invented new cocktail. Any flavor of crystal light and vodka. I call it "I am going to die alone"
No kidding. I just keep looking at that 'under 21 until 11/21/2011' on my id and whispering "soon enough"
Beer vodka and pink lemonade powder mixed together. So. Many. Penises. My vagina will be calling out to them tonight. Coooooooooooooome.
my life is about to be the like the hunger games except with penises. and im going to win.
Just jerked off with bubble wrap. Not as awesome as it sounds.
I planned out my poor life choices for the weekend.
You know, I'm starting to enjoy brazilians. One day I'm going to make a therapist very very happy.
Did u find my other sock in your bra? U said u were uneven so I did the gentlemanly thing.
Randomize
