yo my bday is less then one week away. hope youve found another annoying candian i can lick dairy products off of. also sorry about your loss
my dad just walked in on my jacking off and all he had to say was "I thought you were bigger than that".... thanks dad.
Until last night, I had never actually thrown up ON a sandwich
I had to close one eye to read the questions on my final this morning. That hungover.
I had a great penis washing session in the sink before I left. Washed off all the bar and green beer
I mean Grimace is basically just a big piece of purple shit and he is loved way more than the hamburglar just to put it into perspective
I feel like I took a shit on my life and you're rubbing my nose in it.
I ended up at these random girls' house they are smoking weed out of a gun
The ratio of last drink to last smoke is so tricky. This could go on until the booze is gone
I'm throwing in the towel on today. The puke gods have won this war
The feeling I get when I hear beer bottles clinking must be what children feel when they hear sleigh bells on Christmas Eve
My life is a clusterfuck of men and disorderly priorities right meow.
The guy I screamed at across the bar for booing the Bruins ended up buying me shots I had to explain to him there's not a chance in hell I would ever fuck a Canadian! #Bostonstrong
So if i am talking to a guy and he sends me a pic and he is wearing Spiderman button down dress shirt.... Is it ok if i dont want to talk to him anymore?
we went to the skate park then back to her house for dinner, and somehow that ended with her making me blueberry pancakes at 2am
Randomize
