I am totally the chick from Intervention who barfs up wine and then re-eats it.
I wish they had an "I'm Stoned" genre on online Netflix
I fucked her while she was wearing her boyfriends dogtags. I'm officially a bad american
being alone eating nachos and drinking from a giant munchen beermug really isnt that sad
Dave a horae rider a coqw boy
I shouldn't trust a guy I just met with the pull out method. That's a big responsibility.
I stuck a note to his door with my gum explaining why i couldn't spend the night. as i was walking away, he opened the door...i fell down and played dead. deffinitly didn't see me.
That dick who always called me a slut in high school showed up at the clinic with boner problems. Then I was assigned as his nurse. Who's laughing now. I AM.
Yes, he made a MIX CD for our booty call...
Well at one point he got ahold of my archery gear.. And I. Shit. You. Not. Sarah took an arrow to the knee.
She pulled vodka outta the dryer and told me to drink it
Shit. I'm running the whole hotel right now. The front desk girl had to run home because she left her vibrator on the counter and her brother, mom, and grandmother surprised her and are showing up to her place before she gets off work. This will end badly no matter what.
I woke up hugging my purse and I found a business card in my underwear. How?
When the theology professor asked me what touched me most about this trip to Rome, I guess "the guy from last night" wasn't the proper response.
I just want somebody to fondle my boobs while I read fanfiction. Is that too much to ask?
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