did we hook up?
no, because you kept repeating "itty bitty titties" when i took off my shirt
I'll put it this way. My grandkids felt that fuck.
hey as creepy as this sounds i still have your eyelashes on my desk
We broke two of his toes while having sex. He laughed said he'd fix it in the morning and kept going. I think I'm in love
He is the one I "technically" lost my virginity to.
I feel like you never had a virginity..
the back of my hand read, "say no to drugs." my palm read, "say yes to shots." when the fuck did I write that?
Don't. You get on the 18 year old. I'll get on the 38 year old. Together we will bridge 2 decades of cock.
Instead of a hangover my body just feels like shame
That is a hangover
I would prefer a headache
It's 3:30pm, I've been out of bed for an hour and spent most of that barfing. We're switching to beer next debate.
Old woman told me I looked like her son and then she started explaining to me how she wanted me to fuck her
I'm just saying. If this how my magic vagina shows it's magic then I don't want any
okay we need to get tested.
no YOU need to get tested. I'm just going along for the ride.
"This must be what Jayden Smith feels like all the time"
He said we had an hour long conversation about how awesome I was.
He jerked off some dude with a slice of Wonder Bread.
The sports guy?
Yeah. They claimed the bread made it hetero
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