i feel like the prize bull at the rodeo. everybody got a ride, no one lasted more than 8 seconds and i'm pretty sure i kicked one of them in the ball sack
I shaved my legs finally. I am starting to remember what my skin feels like.
The bouncer was kicking me out and I put up my finger for him to wait while I chugged the rest of my drink..all he could say is "are you serious right now?"
Please tell me why 'cock-a-thon' was auto saved in my phone.
You never know, some chick could have a weird unibrow fetish.
Of course I'm not above using aladdin and pot to get laid, this is america
Well, let's see..I held him while he cried for 30-40 minutes, woke up on his couch AND he gave me a ride home in his underwear. Shit show is not even the half of it.
We should probably go now, otherwise the whores will descend.
How do I know if porn I have watched is haunted?
This amicable friendliness is dull. We either need to start fighting or fucking around. I'll even let you pick.
I found where he bartends and I guarantee you that in approximately nine months from this Friday, you will have a niece
Honestly I volunteered because the email made it sound like it was a once in a lifetime opportunity to be a sexual spy kid.
His acid is intense dude. I was just over at his place laughing about the hole in the wall I was convinced was a cat
No idea who's grandma but people were just running around naked
You know you drink too much when the bartender at your favorite bar recognizes you at chipotle with your sunglasses on.
Randomize
