WHY CAN'T YOU EVER SHIT LIKE A NORMAL PERSON, JESSE.
Did you see Brett Michaels get knocked on his ass?
Hurt me personally.
Knocked his cowboy hat off... Bandanna was still good though
i just watched my husband get a prostate exam. sex is ruined for me.
when she said she was from California you started sobbing. You begged her not to melt your popsicle because you paid good money for it and you just wanted to eat it in peace.
It was just a reflex. BOOM I kicked her in the face
Hey I have your shoes. Do you remember shouting "Police brutality!" when the bouncer was kicking you out last night?
Ugh why does it have to be margarita Monday. Why can't it be pants off dance off beer pong but with jager Monday.
Awkward moment: seeing and saying hey to the MILF you're sleeping with while shopping with your mother and sister.
I plan on having so much gay sex in our house while you gone.
HOLD ONTO YOUR PANTIES AND SAY GOODBYE TO THE REMAINDER OF YOUR INTEGRITY
Okay so how much boob would you consider inappropriate for smart casual?
If he's gonna send me dick pics; he should at least zoom in to make it look bigger.
Sex and compliments. The way to my heart
he came over last night and we fucked with the great british baking show on in the background. it was beautiful
She has my name on her bucket list. I’m either getting laid or killed
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