Maybe if i eat something filling like whole wheat pasta it will make me less hungry for things like dick
that's an acceptable place to lick
im dressed up like a present. waiting for someone to unwrap me ;)
this is your brother
im pretty sure every drug dealer is going to be able to retire the day after alice in wonderland comes out
it was like fucking gandolphs beard
She asked me why there was $2 in the lunchmeat drawer of the fridge and BBQ sauce all over the kitchen... I'm not sure but I know it has something to do with you
Just made out with the bride... She was still in her dress & I was still in my bridesmaid dress, how's that for an album picture?!?
What if we had a smart house and we could just say "baked" and it would rain donuts?
She is chewing on staples and spitting them at her cat, I think it's time to leave..
well at least you didnt have sex with him. i feel like a proud mother. you always have sex with them.
For the love of God you used a 40 foot extension cord to bungee jump out the off the 2 nd floor
I hate about 85% of people that I meet. I'm an awful person. In reality my only redeeming qualities are my face, my amazing scissoring skills and the fact that children love me.
True on all accounts.
In anticipation of No Judgement Tuesday, I believe a Can We LOL At What We Did Last Night Saturday is in order
So his mom walked in the kitchen while I was sucking him off and just casually suggested that "I'd need a glass of water after that"
I took a hang over nap infront of the door to my 9am class
Randomize
