Ikea night.
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Insert tab A into swedish slot B
Is it sad that I'm on the stopduiaz.com website and there is a cute boy but it will never work between us because hes in jail for 17.5 years?
Um.. is it mean if I say yes?
How would my first penpal letter even go? "Hey saw you on stopduiaz.com, sucks you killed that motorcyclist. Whats your favorite thing to do on the weekend?"
just fell over trying to sit on the toliet like a robot.
he used a semicolon in his bootycall text, of course he's not gonna go down on me.
the pizza man had no reaction when jackie and me opened the door naked, i guess he's used to that shit
i ran around the party telling everyone that my favorite sexual position was also the only position that made me queef...i kept calling it the "double edged sword"
i have rugburns grass stains and some road rash. im an all terrain slut
It' a whole new level of walk of shame. I'm carrying his sheets since I have a washer/dryer.
She's a squirter....that makes up for lots of other annoying things
we just plugged the camera up to the big screen. would you like to come see what you did last night, in high definition?
I'm pretty sure getting a blow job behind a bar in Rome while her little sister is throwing up in a dumpster not 5 feet away, gives entirely new meaning to the phrase "When in Rome"
While looking for an apartment, I've realized that the way I rate balconies is on the "how easy would it be to smoke weed here" scale.
What other scale is there?
It's 4/20 of course I'm going to smoke in the portapotty and be ripped outta my mind at the lung cancer walk.
We watched ESPN, hooked up, got waffles. You know, a typical weekend.
He woke up wondering who broke in and rearranged all the furniture. He reviewed 11 hours of security footage before I told him he did it while whiskey-drunk.
Randomize