how was the sex?
he smelled like pickles and burnt hair.
well, there's that.
Next weekend I am getting a library card and staying my whore ass home.
The bartender laughed but the manager kicked me out when the mom conplained. There's no way my fart harmed that baby in any way
He's slept with 25.5 people. Wtf is a half?
They really brought out their best strippers for vday weekend
True as that may be, are you coming to the birth of my imaginary child or not?
Just walked out of my apartment and came face to face with a shirtless dude playing with his balls and trying to tie his shoes.
nothing says "you're fucked" like watching a movie with the family and a handle of vodka comes crashing down from your hiding spot in the ceiling tiles.
people in the room actually applauded when we discovered you had the ability to somehow throw up on your own back
I'm lowering my standards just so I can get laid, but I draw the line when a guy spells cool kewl
NEW INFORMATION meech found me passed out on a bench outside.
So, seriously. How does it feel to know that you're riding a cock that was in kindergarten when you were going to prom?
2014 decided to stick it to me one last time. Right up the ass.
He's driving 2 hours to visit me and he's bringing weed. I love him so much.
Why did the sexual harassment class show a clip from frozen?
Randomize
