but i really can't criticize. i blacked out waaaaaay ahead of schedule.
i just smoke outta the biggest bowl i've ever seen. the kid was totally compensating for a tiny weeenie.
Let's bang like we're on a Lifetime Channel movie.
At some point I made a semi-conscious decision that i was okay with sleeping in my own vomit.
i think beer pong is the only time ive ever found a use for geometry
He just came into the room wearing nothing but a Speed Racer helmet. I think he just invented a fetish.
help me choose which girl to send myself boning to my girlfriend to make her want to break up
which one looks the most like her?
Santa was walking around downtown handing out stuff at the bars. He gave me a free eyebrow wax. I think he's trying to tell me something
Yours weakened by children. Mine weakened by a forearm sized cock for 8 years.
Hey, it's Thrasher! From the hospital!
Like real life can suck my metaphorical dick right now.
Aaaaaaaand dick pic. God bless america, and god bless tinder.
She was here for a threesome... She doesn't have to put the new roll of toilet paper on the dispenser. She can leave the new roll wherever she wants!
I screamed "You look like a guy I've fucked!" to your brother at a party... I have some explaining to do.
i had to win in rock paper scissors, get called a fat whore, and make two dudes get in a fight so we could call next game on the table and you make zero cups. thanks asshole.
Randomize
