with your own penis?
We will have to stop frequently for food, stretching legs, interesting things on the side of the road, and sex. So you might as well eat.
When i light up a cigarette people look at of like i'm going to pee on their children.
Tonight i am praying for god to turn my pussy into apple pie because i cant count the number of times bruce chooses food over sex.
You kept telling me to "raw dog" your take home breathalyzer without the mouthpiece
There were 4 naked women demanding my presence. Of COURSE I got into the pool.
going to a night class in lingerie so i can quickly go to his house after.
Will you just get over yourself and come over here and give me that dick...then you can go back home and continue to cry over us breaking up. Thank you
It felt as i were a pad of butter melting onto a piece of toast.
New year means new boundaries for the Brazilian lady.. I'm pretty sure I got wax on my asshole
Dude you were sitting in front of me eating uncooked bow tie pasta...
if becoming an adult is chugging a bottle of wine in your bed and crying about your stresses while your dog watches you, sign me up
Serious question: is he hot or is my vagina just that barren?
Costco (TM). Making alcoholism affordable!
Sorry. I was preoccupied thinking about penises
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