Well, for starters you dressed up in all Green and kept singing that song from "A Goofy Movie". Then you made us call you Powerline for the rest of the night...needless to say no, you didn't hook up with her
Dude, she told me she wanted to bang my dad. I don't know which is worse, the fact that she wants to or the fact that she told me.
All I saw was a beagle come across the screen and explain the theory of relativity to me and leave
Drunk
Deyhxbr
Fucaerrrrr
He managed to scream "cowabunga bitch" before he went down on me. Let me know if you still like him.
If this week is any indication of my life here I've got to get out ASAP. My liver can't hack it.
I just watched a guy smoke weed through a French Horn. He is my hero
Making cookies for neighbors. Spill beer all over dough. Bake anyways. From good neighbors back to the shitty college kids next door in under 3 seconds.
you slapped the bag of goldfish out of her hands and screamed, "BITCH THIS AINT NO AQUARIUM". That's how fucked up
he has a party story that rivals our "PTSD- soldier-with-a-knife" party story. I'm pretty sure this is part of some prophecy.
Where are you on a scale from one to wasted?
Like alphabetically I'd say a v
Oh god establish a safe word
I'm going to! Pineapple.
I can get something to clone your cock for $40. It's worth it. It's my birthday present to myself.
OMG I CAN GET A GLOW-IN-THE-DARK ONE
Its like my group of friends and I are all dating and we're all just a bunch of Swingers, is that normal?
I just realized I'm not wearing clothes. I think my pants may be in the kitchen but I have no idea where my shirt is. I'm kinda worried.
Randomize
