Yay Minnesota! I can't believe there's now a US Senator who has taken more acid than we have
I got oddly confused when she started talking in third person in bed.
im pretty sure i just dented her unborn child.
I know it's getting bad when I wash the bong more often then the dishes
Do you know how hard it is to conceal the fact that you puked all over the bed that someone is sleeping in?
you told the bartender not to open the bottle because you were gonna put it in your purse in case you get cut off later
Ummm so I just found the baby pumpkin that was on my porch last night in Village Pizza this morning on their counter. The cashier said some drunk girl came in and told him it was a present.
triple team girl just facebook chatted me. do i tell her i had a nice time?
She didn't even ask about the dinosaur pinata in my trunk. Like at this point I think these are the things she expects from me
drove into oncoming traffic. add a minute to my ETA
Go big or go home. i snuck in two beers in my bra. im here to win.
Just did an entire nights worth of bar crawl in an hour. Boom
Well that's what you get for messing around with her vagina. I told you it was a fickle and insatiable creature.
Is there like a dick file on me? Guys can't hold two dicks anymore?! Who are you people????
I'm trying to make sure he doesn't drown in the toilet. Because I'm a nice lady.
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