All I wanted to tell you is that I fucked a guy covered in fake blood, who circumcised himself.
Just watched a guy fight a garbage can then pee on it, screaming "I told you to listen to me the first time!!" San Francisco, I've missed you.
I'm never telling my kids not to take ecstasy, never. Idk what my mom was thinking.
He's got a wife and three kids but I'm into being that mistake.
And I think short bridesmaids dresses are the best idea especially for bathroom sex
If I die tonight and was cremated, you could probably get high off the smoke.
It's a good cause. For your vagina.
He insisted he brought his alarm clock everywhere, and then the girl screamed "fuck French people!"
im In safeway buying a bottle of Ciroc in short shorts at 3:00 pm on a Monday, yeah I don't know either.
I thought I was heading girls talk. It was the toilet. Like put my ear to it
but how can he casually chat with my father 8 hours after asking me if i'm a screamer
you ran up to the police and said "fuck the police shit we living in hell ". Then you dropped your Margarita and said "Darby Out" lol
You weren't stupid you just made an ass of yourself. It's called a birthday party. That's code for night of regrets.
He just kept pissing on the couch as we were yelling at him while he repeatedly told us "its going to be okay".
am i the only one who finds it a little awkward seeing as we all made out last night?
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