I spent my night drunkenly staring at a picture of John Stamos. How do you think I feel?
He doesn't make grammatical errors. Even while getting head.
The foreigner finally woke up and the first thing he did was look up a map of the u.s. His destination is to pennsylvania.
It's just a condom. Most people would commend me for saying I was going to start using them, and you're acting like I'm going to try heroin.
He told her hed rather go bobbing for apples in puke than have sex with her.
I never knew so many sexual things could be done while wearing footie pajamas
I think they're German
Just say lederhosen and see what happens
I'm cool with a hey old buddy how have you been want to fuck me in the butt kind of thing
I had to hypnotize my roommate last night so there's that.
Anyone see the sob who took the piñata?
I want to fuck the side burns off of Steve.
So apparently having sex with your co-worker in the bathroom at the staff party can get you fired.
My tinder date wouldn't stop talking about the Star Wars movie trailer long enough to fuck me. HOW IS THIS MY LIFE?!?
chasing tequila with frosting. best baby shower ever.
WHY DON'T YOU WANT TO BE MY ESKIMO BRO
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