bahahahaha i would laugh soo hard if someone did this for me hahahaha this guy would become my best friend
a guy from my religion class just walked in with a red cup. hello first friday of 2nd semester.
Going to have to start putting down newspaper if puking the bed is going to be a habit
Woke up Christmas Eve morning with my face smelling like ballsack.. No regrets.
My Valentine's Day plans just drastically changed... My F buddy just ran into my gf...in my driveway.
Walking into the first day of college is like walking into a meat market. A meat market of sex.
want to know what my life has come to? I just took a 45 min shower banging on the walls and making loud sex noises so my neighbors think I get some.
Glad to know I rate above a cabbage on the parenting scale.
That's not a current picture, because if you look deep enough into my eyes you can still see morals. Not these days.
I added a U.S. Senator on snapchat....casual.
You said you couldn't use your body anymore so you made me push the buttons on your phone while you made alien sound effects
I stopped for beer and woke up to a bird on my shoulder. I really need to stop drinking
Did we just second hand smoke crack?
Omg the sex was so good my ears popped. Thank god too. Cause then I didn't have to hear him going on and on about his dumbass feelings. It's called a booty call bitch.
Just got drunk at the Cheesecake Factory again. Made me think of you.
That's the nicest thing anyone's ever said to me.
Randomize
