T-minus about 54 seconds until I am too high to speak English.
I'm jealous
My throat feels like a candle.
so I smoked with the leasing agent of the apartment complex. Of corse I am going to take this one
he's sitting on top of the fridge in only a black speedo and wont get down
i think i just put your shirt on , but i don't remember . my body can't decide if it wants to move in slow motion or fast forward
I incognito puked under the VIP table. Did Jersey proud.
is he the 3rd person to bang everyone in our group?
Unlimited sex for unlimited netflix. I can deal with that. I think this is the first prostitution deal for netflix ever.
Next time I see you, remind me to tell you how I fell through my attic door and landed on my feet in the garage on the first floor.
Idk. I'm naked in front of the computer eating ribs. All is right with the world.
That's so nerdy and hot at the same time.
I need a Jamo leash. Just tie it to my wrist and every time you see me reaching for a shot of it, just yank my hand away
You kept mumbling that you could become one with the carpet as you proceeded to give yourself the worst carpet burn I have ever seen
Just visited the liquor store.... for the 4th time today. shits gonna get weird
I was looking up travel destinations and somehow I ended up reading Paul's first letter to the Corinthians. I need to start going to church high...
Had to walk of shame past Westminster Abbey this morning. Pretty sure a Japanese tourist took a photo of me.
I don't want to resort to having sex with people that actually like me.
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