I couldn't deal, she's a vegetarian. Every woman should like a little meat in their mouths.
they just dont make restraining orders like they used to.
Just had to have the guy at Sprint clear the dried cum out of the trackball on my Blackberry. Wonder if that happens to him often.
She asked me to cum on her. ON her. I think we're out of the friend zone
I just got eleven picture messages of my dick and balls hanging out of my shorts last night. I guess it really is summer when the fratastic, man-thigh exposing shorts come out...
Bro i heard that. I've seen so many balls this month its like march madness all over again
One night stand. Woke up at her dad's house. She already left for work. Shit's about to go down.
When I try to close my eyes ibwant to puke. Going to the basement to watch pocohantas. That'll keep myeyes open. And puke free.
she let a homeless guy feel her up so she could go for a ride in his shopping cart
I just watched dragonflies fucking. You can't match that level of geek.
I'm alone drinking at the bar and the titanic theme song is on. This won't end well.
He sent me a vid of himself jerking off. I hope his hands are the size of tennis rackets or it will be a very short date.
He held the kayak still so I wouldn't tip over while projectile vomiting. If that ain't true love, I don't know what is...
I'm pretty sure he's playing the harmonica in my shower right now. I just really need to pee.
It's a family event: you have to drink. No way around it. Its the law.
I really wanted you to make me eggs this afternoon. I even wrote it on my hand to remind myself.
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