dude! the alphabet song and twinkle twinkle little star are like the same tune
what drug did you take to come to that conclusion??
I'm not sure if it was sex or spear fishing. He goes in for it like he's crash landing a rocket
I knew he cared when I got his text "happy birthday to the girl who gives phenomenal head"
High school girls are buying me shots. This will not end well.
Only thing worse than going to work with a hangover is going to work with a hangover then realizing that u don't have to work that day
Also his beard was very delicious looking. I wanted to touch it so bad, but I held back.
I called him and he said hell call me back hes in the middle of his kareokee song he was out by himself and his dog
I woke up in a toga after going to a Hawaiian party. I don't even know.
After we banged he volunteered to ducksit while I went to work. I think that's true love.
I don't think tits should taste like fish.
Worst case scenario- he paid me for sex with meatloaf. There are worse thing, right? I mean at least is was good meatloaf.
I yelled out "blow jobs!" in my macroeconomics class. Ask me more about how my life is spiraling out of control.
this morning's inventory: a top hat, two empty bottles of everclear, half a slim jim, cigars, tiara, pot necklace, and some fishnets. and that's just my purse.
Aww his grandma died? That's sad! No mourning sex!!! That doesn't lead to good things!
Okay I’ll say it... THIS MOVIE FUCKS
That’s probably the first time I've heard Little Women described that way and I love it
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