yo my bday is less then one week away. hope youve found another annoying candian i can lick dairy products off of. also sorry about your loss
chicago's viagra triangle is not unlike the bermuda triangle in thatt things just get lost...... planes, ships, dignity, virginity, etc.
just had to take a 4 hour nap to write a one page paper. its obviously the week after winter break.
I can't think of anything besides pubic hair fallout. Ugh.
you inspire me to be a worse person
Eating an ice cream sandwich while your little bro gets me weed. May I adopt him?
My hair is crimped, I am walking with a roadie, and my vibrator is in my purse. I feel sorry for tomorrow.
Side note... I would pay good money to have witnessed the reaction of onlookers as I sprinted down Armtiage with a 15 lb bag of peanuts under my arm
You better buy her a motherfucking bunnyrabit to make up for this. And me footsie pajamas for being a cockblock.
Being drunk with magicians is fucking mind blowing. This Asian guy just made a platypus appear and disappear. This is not a drill.
Another guy on Tinder just asked about "the hotter girl" in my pictures. I fucking hate being your friend.
Being home for break is weird, just had a full convo with my dad about what I wanted for dinner, while a dildo was on top of me under my comforter
All I'm saying is Europe has not been easy on my vagina.
You let the ASEXUAL teach sex Ed?!
Apparently during my blackout I walked over to Troy, grabbed my crotch, and said “Eat Fresh” while his GF was with him. FML
Randomize
