who do you think you are?
someone who doesn't ask that question
Its not christmas eve unless I give him head. I wont take no for an answer
i love you. like a brother. a brother that i had sex with more than once.
I put bits of fruit cocktail in the jello shots i made because i knew that they were gonna be the only thing we ate all day
she had that "i just got used" look on her face when i kicked her out at 5am
figured after she passed out and i threw up in her bed, morning sex would be pushing it.
Nothing like the It's a Small World ride at Disneyland to remind you to take your birth control. I took it on the boat yesterday
Irrelevant. Does he have queso? That's the real question.
OMG IM A TIGER AND I LOVE ROARING
I'm throwing in the towel on today. The puke gods have won this war
seriously the second he called my tits warlocks was the second I knew I wasn't going to fuck him.
I've peed outside too many times in just this past week
If Boring and Monotone had a love child, it would be this guy.
Apparently 'ewww' is not the correct response to him saying he has to go to a funeral while I'm there.
Somehow my family started talking about sex toys at breakfast.
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