just saw ex-bf. should he be more embarrassed to be a college dropout working at rite aid or should i be because i was buying newports and rembrant?
tie
i hope kanye doesn't show up to patrick swayze's funeral. " i'll let you get back to your funeral in a minute...but michael jackson had the best death of the year. just sayinnn ".
There are GROWN MEN with fake HP wands flinging curses at me in Walmart.
That's funny. Are they weird looking???
OF COURSE THEY ARE WEIRD LOOKING, THEY ARE STALKING ME IN WALMART. WITH. FAKE. WANDS.
i was trying to give him roadhead and my tits kept knocking his cheap shifter into neutral...was the first time my tits have ever cock blocked me
I think I'm interested in anyone that recognizes I actually have a pulse
And I just had to awkwardly tell 3 police officers that I was having sex and not in any trouble
Things I want for my birthday 1. a Chipotle grade tortilla steamer 2. a new liver
Is there a reason there's a dick print on my seventh-story window?
He let him chew on his fu man chew. The man has the patience of a saint
I just woke up under my desk. Not to worry though, no one is in the office yet
I've seen too many dicks in the past week. I can't do it anymore.
His dick is a skeleton key. It fits everywhere.
Stumbled out of my bed this morning into the bathroom at 8 am still drunk, obviously. The Mormon on my floor was in the bathroom. I could practically hear her doing hail marys for me.
I've come to the conclusion, I should prob have at least 20 hr supervision. I would say 24, but I'm guaranteed to pass out for at least 4 hrs a day
He ate me out in the warehouse on a pallet of sunlight soap. I fucking love night shift!
Randomize
