I am really glad that on the inside of a card from your grandparents you have transcribed the rules for circle of death
Our adventure is going to pick up his pipe and weed that he ditched when he got pulled over the other day.
HOT DATE.
she called me a fuckfaceshitdick. not that's creative. it sounds like a crayola crayon, preferrably an orange-brown shade.
Just took 11th shot of tequila. I may puke in my bear head.
We hung out in the bathroom the whole time and talked about sex and watched some girl pee. If you don't believe I was there, check the bathtub for bread crust.
Babe when I told you that you needed to grow up I didn't mean get drunk and sponsor 8 African kids.
and then you looked me right in the eyes and said "i just really wanna pet some horses right now"
Tried to drunkenly hop a fence with my cast on to get away from the cops but ended up falling over a bench.. how do I explain those bruises to my parents?
First week back and I made to one class, its gonna be okay after all.
You burned the hair off your arms. Again.
It grows back stronger each time.
I'm sorry for getting drunk and throwing a robo-bird at you.
Dude. $3 Jack n Cokes AND Cheesesticks... Find me tomorrow plz
Apparently I bought a laptop last night, then gave the laptop to a friend who was going to give it to her friends' friend to put some cool shit on it. Anyway, I have no idea where my new laptop is now.
My mother expressed her concerns about my drinking via a facebook message.
dude you pointed at my dad's crotch and said I'd tap that. I didn't even know you were gay.
Randomize
