I have now ridden the bus with a ninja, a samurai and Jesus. Who says the bus is for losers.
I may or may not have puked in my RA's suggestion box.
Whoever had sex in my bed during the party last night left a glow in the dark condom on my floor. I'm not even mad anymore, I just want to know who it is so they can tell me where to get one.
I can't believe I am actually paying for a night in a hotel for my parents so I can throw a party the night before Christmas Eve. I also can't believe they think it's their Christmas present.
i will see naked twins by the end of the night. that's all i know
I really appreciate you zipping up my pants at the bar. You didn't even ruin my Bermuda triangle.
Full contact beer pong was definitely not my best idea.
apparently i tried to facetime the drunk bus last night, that's probably why we had to walk back to campus
Drunk ass.
I knew it was on when all she had to say about the handcuffs was 'I really hope these adjust tighter!'
Then he said,"I love you like a sister I like to have sex with."
Funny you say that, I just sold my stripper pole to my mom tonight...
Hey babe! Random question. Do you by chance have the pic of my nipples covered with ninja turtles band aids? Thanks.
Today I learned that I have a bigger dick than Draymond Green
Some people are good at football, some people are good at painting, and he's good at being a fuckboy. Everyone has their talents.
We've been here for 9 days, so of course I am high at my in-laws' house.
Randomize
