Wow, this guy is harder to get rid of than gum in pubic hair
i'd like someone to explain to me why my clothes are all sticky. including my fanny pack. yes, this is a mass text.
part of it is the fact that im problem drinking, and the other part is my OCD wont let me leave the bottle half-empty.
Just witnessed a circumcision at clinical. i suddenly feel a sense of reconciliation over every guy who's done me dirty...
OMG. if college stays like this, theres no way i wont be pregnant by first semester
im so proud of her that she got shit faced finally. This must be what it feels like to see you kids get their diploma or some shit.
I think a van full of parolees just blew me kisses. Thoughts?
he just looked at me, said "i think i'll keep you around, you put the seat back up and everything," and then burst into tears.
Ok: all ex-gfs except you from the last 5 years have or are about to have a baby...be on the lookout...
Why do I always end up with closet ICP fans?
I've now fucked in every motel room in this small town.
Sorry. We had to leave because I knocked a guy out for saying "yolo".
The housekeeper found my huge dildo under the bathroom sink, and another in the living room. I can't get much more single than this.
He’s 21. The president of his frat. I’m 28 and have a career!
Do it. It’s a noble position.
When the people downstairs start talking about drugs, I second guess buying my drugs from them. Then I remember they are cheap and convenient.
Randomize
