Remember ______, girl, blonde, one of my roommates the first year of ________?
Yeah we hooked up in the top bunk bed while simultaneously having a conversation with u, so yeah, I remember her
and apparently i was drunk enough to follow up with "I'd let me touch your boobs" ... not my best line.
the most drunk i have ever been? possibly. the most drunk i have ever been on a monday? definently.
We didn't have a blender for the margaritas, so she tried to use the garbage disposal and wasted half a handle of my grandpa's good tequila.
As for the 14 hours of vodka. I am all that is man.
Should we buy the taco bell before hand? Not having taco bell on Quattro de mayo isn't a risk I'm willing to take
One day her vagina is just going to shrivel up and seal itself with it's self preservation mechanism
He is asleep with his dick hanging out of my my little pony pajamas. I am required to wake this man up by blowjob
Your sexual fantasies often terrify me but get a pic
Had sex with the Irish bartender in Spain. So that happened.
I'm not gonna get my cat high anymore because what if he has a heart attack. I don't want to be responsible for that shit
I took it upon myself to take one shot of tequila to have an excuse for hitting on my not-single coworker. It worked.
You're about to makeout with my vagina, I don't think she cares that you haven't brushed your teeth. Just get over here!
I just came so hard I growled. Definitely found my gspot.
well at least now you can say you got an STD from the frontman of a band no one's heard of
fuck you.
I wanna hang out. The cats don't talk back.
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