i'm watching the tyra show: "women who beat up their boyfriends" - lets see how she can make THIS one all about herself too.
His second form of ID was an emergency room wristband from an hour ago. What the fuck is going on right now
Haha yeah he had an allergic reaction to the alcohol earlier. He thinks that if he only drinks vodka he will be ok...
Don't make me choose between a good grade and anal
I am gunna fuck the accent right out of her mouth
I've broken several federal laws in the name of sex.
Because its an amazing idea and you're the only one I can think of that will allow a pirate threesome
Last awkward moment of 2011: your ex gf grinding on me in front of her husband.
Boats looked like robot pelicans and time was slow and now im on wipe out
Ever had someone sing happy birthday to you during sex?
Oh please not the Easy Cheese again. That was weird.
He stopped me in the middle of a blow job to call his grandma for her birthday.
At least he has family values.
His dog ate the vibrator. The WHOLE vibrator. We spend the morning after trying to make it vomit up the battery. Why does this always happen to me?
All I can remember from last night was eating nutella and touching myself to Weird Science.
11:30 and people are pissing in the sink. It's gonna be a good night.
You know you have an interesting job when you go to work and have to Google search "How to get poop out of a dryer".
Randomize
