I'm in the dining hall. that same guy is here again, the one who sits alone and talks to his silverware.
i just lost my virginity for the 9th time. when will guys stop believing that nonsense line
This guy legit just tried to LSAT formal logic his way into my pants. Contrapositives and everything.
So the dentist told me I couldn't suck on anything. She emphasized ANYthing.
When I opened my laptop there was a half eaten little debbie oatmeal cream pie inside.
He said he got laid, but you and i both know he was too high to leave his house.
Periouds do not concern me. Biploogival needs are buological needs.
I respect the size of her balls.
Yeah but I don't respect the size of her anything else.
You asked me if you had to go downstairs to get upstairs. And then you forgot where you were.
Obviously he considers you not fucking him as fucking up. Thus making him fuck up. Based on this I believe he should be disqualified from the race to your vagina.
Looks better than the half a blow job I got the other night which I had to finish myself. From a chick I refer to simply as "mom jeans".
He told me he was married and then fingered me on the kitchen counter. It was awkward to explaining the broken toaster to my roommates this morning...
He just jumped up off the couch, screamed "ITS OVER NINE THOUSAND!" And then attempted to fly out the window like a bird. I don't know nor do I care to know what just happened
I am drunk and aggressive about the olympixs
It's spelled Olympics
You’ve seen my tits of course he broke his wedding vows
Randomize
