yo im tryna cop a beej tonight
Why on earth are you answering my texts promptly? Thought for certain you'd be caught up in some ridiculous orgy by this time.
I'm that good.
God. I'm so broke I don't even have a dollar to snort my adderall through.
I'm at the laundry mat. This guy is here showing me his ankle monitor. The weird ones always find me.
I'm beginning to feel kind of at home at Police stations
they described our state of being as looking similar to a crime scene....you were on the ground and i was running around screaming.
Seriously he's so hot. And it's so hard to flirt with a deaf guy
Under no circumstances is it ok to do naked cartwheels in front of anyone. i don't care how much ecstasy you took
I may or may not have traded your body to the rodeo's owner for free beer.
painting my nails while super high-drunk. Ended up painting my entire hands. Both.
I know this is super early in advance but can I borrow your horse mask on 4/20
My body is telling me there was tequila. My pictures say it was Jeff's fault
He serenaded me a cappella to Ed Sheeran. I wasn't going to leave his dick unsucked.
I'm glad you had fun with your genitals.
I'm pretty sure my therapist gave me the green light to fuck him.
Randomize
