That was definitely a porn plot just waiting to develop...
Mental picture: Us at a bar keeping it classy shot gunning PBR's in the corner.
That was a good example of when keeping it real goes right
i feel so shallow. people in iran are using twitter to write hardcore nathan hale shit about dying for freedom. my last tweet was "i hate the taco shits"
I just accidently deleted 60 gigs of porn from my external hard drive. Thats over 300 pornos! I think im gonna cry.
Im surprised that you are even able to text me right now.
...she's taking her top off and singing songs from Anastasia. I swear to God were solumates.
i was just singing like a virgin out loud my mom told me to stop kidding myself
I felt like a fire hydrant the vomit just kept coming out
I just won 10 dollars from out chugging the bar tender and I found out that the baby aint mine in the last hour. I don't even care if l get laid tonight any more.
theres a kid face down in the middle of campus... people are going about their day and paying no attention to him
i would one night stand the shit outta him
I would just like you to know that the guy I blew off last weekend to come find ur drunk ass just got drafted into the major leagues.
Moment of silence for the loss of that option.
I found out why they kept calling her "CD". It was short for "Crab Dip". You're fucked.
I GOOGLED IT. BEES CAN MASTURBATE. WHAT.
I don't know what's worse. The fact that my biological mother is an unwitting bigamist, or the fact that my half sister is trying to seduce my girlfriend.
i didnt realize that your first thought would be SEXUALIZING BREAD
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