I was about to buy asher roth's album and then i realized he was a ginger. can't support
I'm pretty sure that he just gave me the ginger disease
Just made out with the bride... She was still in her dress & I was still in my bridesmaid dress, how's that for an album picture?!?
giving a 30 min presentation still drunk is like giving birth, upside down in a pit of snakes while being on fire.
I don't make the first move. Ever. Unless were playing monopoly cause that's my shit
So I feel bad, Ross is asking questions, I think they need to know it's a Spanish lesbian bar
we found you outside the hotel room sleeping with a note next to you that said " we made sure you were comfortable, hope your friends come back soon"
Will you just get over yourself and come over here and give me that dick...then you can go back home and continue to cry over us breaking up. Thank you
YOU HAVE BEEN BAD TOUCHED BY THE LEPRECHAUN OF CHOICES
Wait, cocaine is okay but tanning isn't?
The fact that the praying hands are in my top emojis defines how 2016 is going so far
Please tell me I did not drink enough whiskey to think that having sex with my boyfriend while his best friend was on the floor next to us was a good idea.
Nice. I got home at like 3am.stopped at Walmart for a vacuum and weirdly a trash can. Not sure why high me last night needed a new trashcan.
I think him and kristen are pretty serious now.. I dont think he cheats on her, anymore.
Like how do you live your life and have never made a grilled cheese? The audacity of some people
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