Well I thought that next 8 ball would either kill us or turn us into Gods
Having your wife answer your cell was so lame. Maybe we can talk when you get your phone, your facebook account, and your balls back.
There's a 34yo winking at me. Why do i find this weird when my bf is a 38yo married man?
I feel like a panda just shit rainbows on my mind
ok this guy next to me just sat down with a no joke, 10,000 page book, popped an addy, cracked open a red bull and opened the book to page 1.
this mix will be the most desperate cry for affection in the history of itunes.
I should have to wear a sign around the rest of the day so everyone knows the shame I feel.
that beer fried lasagna last night was sooo good
that wasnt beer fried lasagna, you just poured beer on my lasagna
you missed an awesome concert last night. some middle aged woman that was grinding on me kept trying to stick her hand down my pants. i ended up rewarding her tenacity by letting her hold onto it for a song, i think it made her night.
He just told an 8 year old to go fuck himself so we probably won't be in the butterfly exhibit much longer.
After everything you did, you followed it with "Oh God, that's something a high person would do. But I'm not high." So yeah, you're not getting near my stash again.
I need a full description of the guy I hooked up with. I don't think I ever saw his face
he seemed brazillian..
fuck.
I lose my morals, my dignity, and my selfie stick :(
sober me is not impressed with the quality of people that drunk me gives our phone number to
Is there a nice, calm way of telling your friend/housemate/former lover/person who does not reciprocate your feelings that your period is late?
Randomize
