I specifically asked you not to be slutty tonight.
he is fucking friends with his exwife on facebook, but he defriends me after 3 dates? am i that crazy?
by the end of the night i am guaranteed to have less of a face than Seal....
he suggested we appoligize to eachother. then do blow and painkillers & have ourselves a make-up party.
i need to break up with him. i realized this while i was making a mental grocery list while we were having sex. this is not the first time i've done that.
because whats more american than sleeping with a westpoint cadet on the 4th of july?
nothing says new school year like ambulances and police road blocks.
I wish that one Sunday morning I could wake up feeling like I have my life together.
i've met an abundance of virgins and guys who where flip flops, i thinks there's a correlation
don't mind me. just hanging out in this cool air conditioned Babies R Us until the liquor store next door opens.
Well I can't go home with anyone tonight bc I stuffed my bra
I'm trying to get WebMD to diagnose me with a hangover
He smells like cinnamon, and what I imagine to be orgasms
Wow dude wow that's sad man so sad. I dno't event wanna massturbate anymore due to teh sadness
We showed up to the ER to pick him up and I was still wearing face paint from the game. Then I threw up in the sink. Those doctors did not like us at all.
Randomize
