I'm pretty sure that he just gave me the ginger disease
at this rate if someone im actually interested in likes me back im going to die of surprise before i even get to make out with them
3rd rule of buttsex she must be clean and shower recently
and skipped dinner
It's like eating cereal and milk but instead of cereal it's gummy bears and instead of milk it's vodka.
You would be married by May if you put half as much energy into getting straight guys as you do into getting gay guys
Like not in a "I wanna have sex with you way" more like a "I wanna cuddle your mustache way"
Post a pic on facebook and see if those same 46 girls find shitting in the bed handsome and adorable
We won't have time to talk.. I'll be rolling you a blunt and you'll be getting naked.
Drinking Hot Toddies on the Porch and blasting bob dylans "hurricane" bring it on sandy!
Tell her this is the Disneyland of penises.It's a magical place everyone should visit once in their life.
Why the fuck is there a picture of us jumping a girl that's wearing my chicken mask?
Is Oprah even human
You showed me your butthole that's like a mating call in other species
I have to choose between charging my phone or my vibrator. This is bullshit.
Of course you try to burn the house down on the one night we take down the smoke alarm so we can use the fog machine more
Randomize
